While anxious about how it’s all gonna come together, I’m finishing up my time here at Fuller in an encouraging way. Aside from a Methodist class I need to take this summer, I am finishing with two classes this quarter that are summarizing my time and hopes here at Fuller. One of those is a communication class based on church and media, the other class is my project based internship in which I am offering to students at my church production classes taught by professionals in the industry and then at the end of April, the kids will be responsible for creating a promotional piece for the church youth group. Their theme is “Acceptance” and this is my current meditation in life…
The three things I have held onto at my time here in Fuller, really my response to people when they ask “Why Seminary?”, is my desire to amalgamate my three passions into a life of service. Those are, my love for youth and the passion they bring to life, my love for film and it’s ability to share our stories in an engaging way, and my faith upon which I ground my sense of justice and my love for humanity, which I truly believe, as a cohesive people, shows what the Image of God really is.
Part of my project based internship requires me to spend time in prayer and mediation. Also, it requires me to reflect upon each session with the students and to find ways to incorporate our theme of “acceptance” into the work I am doing with them. I tell you this, because I have always found prayer and worship an essential part of who I am and have made it part of my personal goal to explore prayer in non-conventional ways. If prayer is our communication with God, both God to us and us to God, why would music (or art in general) not be a significant part of that? Doesn’t it make sense that God would communicate to us in ways that would evoke our emotions and make it a personal and/or communal experience for us? To take it even a step further, if we believe that God loves everyone, and that he calls out to all of us for love and a desire to bring us closer to him, than can we not believe that God is working through culture and media? Perhaps as a leader, rather than being called to preach, I am being called to lead others through the myriad of mixed messages that (well intentioned or otherwise) modern culture sends. Perhaps God calls us as shepherds to help our communities appropriately engage culture instead of reacting as fight or flight.
I can’t tell you how many times restrictions were placed from various authorities (not just my parents) on the movies I could watch, the music I could listen to, etc. when I was a kid. Truth is, I found ways to watch and listen to it anyway. Now, I’m not suggesting we should let our kids watch just anything, there is some dark and twisted stuff out there, but how great it would have been to have adults be willing to work some of these things out with me and help me to process instead of telling me bad, bad, bad all the time. I believe that high-schoolers are much more intelligent than we give them credit for and perhaps it’s not a simple black and white, garbage in and garbage out scenario, but rather we need to think of it as a chance to understand the complexity of humanity, the ways it communicates and it’s co-existence with it’s creator.
All that to say, I have been making it a point during this time to look for messages of love in modern music. I came across this song on my British Female Song-writers Pandora station while at work and realized that it was a good representation of what I am trying to say. The artist, Erin McCarley, writes/sings about the ever searching desire for love and acceptance and re-counts not only how shallow promiscuity may feel, but suggests that it is not the act of love but the reason (intention) we should think about. On a side note, I found it even more impressive when in the second verse she sings about the emptiness that boys often feel as well, which is daring in a culture whose media, arguably, respects strong, emotion-less men more than those who would risk vulnerability.
All in all, perhaps youth or adult, single or married, we all feel a little empty and are yearning for a love that is respectful enough to be complex, vulnerable and honest. Therefore fulfilling our built-in human desire to understand ourselves and to connect with our Creator and each other.
Mama didn’t teach me.
Little boys don’t know how to treat little girls.
Daddy didn’t show me.Face down, on top of your bed.
Oh why did I give it up to you?
Is this how I shoot myself up high,
Just high enough to get through?Again, the false affection.
Again, we break down inside.
Love save the empty.
Love save the empty, and save me.
Sad boy, you stare up at the sky
When no one’s looking back at you.
You wear your every last disguise;
You’re flying, then you fall through.
Again, the false attention.
Again, you’re breaking inside.
Love save the empty.
Love save the empty, save me.
Love save the empty.
Love save the empty.
Stars feel like knives,
They tell us why we’re fighting.
Storm, wait outside.
Oh, love, hold us together.
Love, save the empty.
Love, save the empty.
Love, save the empty.
Love, save the empty, and save me.
And save me.
